PARALINGUISTIC
COMPONENTS OF SOCIAL SKILLS
We
said previously that paralinguistic components make the voice vary ,
they are different to the content of the message, but they can be modulated.
The same happens with non verbal components, they are often difficult
to control and require an effort to try and change the aspects that
can harm our social interaction. It is difficult, for example, to get
used to speaking slower than we usually do:
LATENCIA
Latencia
is defined as the time that pases between the speaker's last phrase
and the start of another one by another speakers. Generally, if the
period of time is short we can assume that the conversation is very
lively and being debated. On the contrary, long periods of time are
usually common in "passive" conversations, for example, in
a conversation when at least one person doesn't express his/her ideas
clearly.
So
that conversations are fluid and comfortable for all those participating,
it is a good idea if you let everyone finish what they are saying before
speaking yourself; but if the situation requires you to, then you are
in your right to interrupt the speaker (think about the case of salesmen
who never seem to finish what they are saying), in this case use expressions
like "I can't speak right now", "I'll think about it",
etc. It is always better to say these type of phrases rather than remain
silent and allow there to be an uncomfortable silence.
VOLUME
People
change the volume of their voice so that everyone can hear what they
are saying. However, often the volume people use is not adjusted to
people's real needs.
People
that use a low volume usually trasmit feelings of submission, sadness
or shyness. On the contary, someone speaking loudly can indicate, according
to the context, security, control, persuasion, anger or roughness. However,
a moderate volume is almost associated with positive characteristics
like pleasure or happiness.
The
type of situation determines the most appropriate volume we should use.
Although one rule is certain, we should never shout but ensure that
everyone hears us clearly. A phenomenon that frequently takes place
is that people use the correct voice volume, except in situations that
we find difficult, like asking for a favour, or rejecting a request
from a friend or work colleague. Therefore, it is important to centre
our efforts in to these situations to improve our performance.
TONE
The
tone of the voice depends on the strain on our vocal cords as to whether
we have a high pitched or low pitched voice. This variable is considered
fundamental as different tones can completly change the same verbal
message. The expression "I loved the concert!" can be said
in a sarcastic or convincing tone, for example. Besides, we can say
the same sentence changing the tone so that we emphasize one word or
another, therefore, varying the intention of the message. Lets have
a look at the next example where the word that we want to emphasize
has been put in bold:
I
hope I see him again. The intention is to emphasize the desire, the
interest to see him again.
I
hope to see him again. . Here what she wants is to see him, not maintain
any other type of contact with him.
In
cases when the tone provides contrary information to the verbal content,
we usually give more credibility to the tone of voice.
It
is a good idea to change the tone of your voice throughout a conversation,
as doing this you will give the impression that you are dynamic. This
can be achieved in various ways:
•
Changing the tone of the words that you would like to stand out.
•
Raising your tone at the end of questions.
•
Lowering your voice at the end of statments.
A
monotonous tone, that does not change, is a sign of boredom and monotony.
