STYLES
OF BEHAVIOUR AND COMMUNICATION
We
can place people's social behaviour in a continuous line:
Passive
Assertive
Agressive
Somebody that behaves in an inhibited way
does not express clearly what they want or what they think, and therefore,
it is possible that other people do not respect their rights, people
choose for them or sometimes people take advantage of them. The verbal
and non verbal component of inhibited behaviour make the others think:
"I don't count, my needs are less important than yours or you are
more important than me". Sometimes, as these type of people are
constantly being bossed around they can suffer from explosions of anger,
as a result of an acumulation of tension and therefore they behave in
an agressive way.
Agressive behaviour happens when someone
tries to achieve their own objectives without respecting other people
or even at other people's expense, sometimes even by pushing someone
around. The messages that other people see are...."this is what
I want and it is more important than what you want, this is what I think,
and it's correct, unlike what you think".
Assertive behaviour, however, respects other
people's basic rights, but the person still tries to achieve their own
objectives. Assertive people do not threaten, they do not punish others.
"This is what I am thinking, this is how I feel, I see things like
this", these are ideas that an assertive person transmits.
In
principle, assertive behaviour is the most desirable, as we will see
later, it is the type of behaviour which helps us to communicate and
at the same time maintain our network of social support. However, don't
forget that the way we behave depends on the situation; the things we
say, do, place and a determined context, all of these factors determine
how we behave.
In
certain situations, behaving agressively or on the contary inhibitly,
helps us to obtain better results, but we should opt for assertivness
in the majority of situations, due to the advantages that this type
of behaviour has in the long term.
Later
I will show you the basic characteristics of the three types of behaviour.
The models that are used are general, there are not necessarily all
of the characteristics present; everybody behaves differently.
On
the other hand, it is important to bear in mind the fact that behaviour
is conditioned by the culture where we live. Therefore, the fact of
labelling someone's behaviour assertive, agressive or inhibited should
not be done in a strict way. There are cultures that raise there voice
more, or people speak to each other a lot closer.
There
are also big cultural variations in class as with the amount of tact
used in coversations. Not only can we talk about cultural differences
but also the differences in the function of the role that we have at
a precise moment; a person behaves differently when with friends, family
and work colleagues.
Therefore,
to catergorize someone with assertive, inhibited or agressive behaviour
you need to take into account the characteristics of the person, and
the results of the objectives that they propose.
