Characteristics
of a child with limited self-esteem
He has
an excessive desire to please others. His survival mechanism makes
him adopt other people’s interest to avoid possible difficulties
and suffering.
He feels
uncomfortable with his physical appearance. He thinks of beauty treatments
as an important element and remembers possible negative commentaries
that he has received in the past. This leads him to over value negatively
any defect or physical imperfection.
He uses
excuses and lies to justify his behaviour.
He feels
uncomfortable accepting compliments: he denies or reduces their importance.
He has been taught how to show modesty, however he knows that it is
not good to be self-important and confuses self-appreciation with
being eccentric.
He finds
it difficult to express feelings or emotions. He responds this way
because his feelings were never considered during childhood: you shouldn’t
cry, be afraid, show weakness, etc.
He dresses
in an eccentric way or too modest; his mechanism causes him to be
rebellious or excessively modest. He wants to attract attention or
reject it: in both cases it is because he believes he is not worth
it.
He complains
about others, this is a defence mechanism, the fear of assuming the
responsibility of his own actions.
He feels
like a victim, the child gives himself an excuse for his deficiencies
and his lack of success.
He is hyper
–sensitive, he feels instantly attacked and overwhelmed when
anything happens to him.
He feels
and complains about his job being too much and that he can’t
continue in this way. He doesn’t try or worry. He discounts
it. He believes that he’s not worthy or that he can’t
handle the challenge, he reinforces his negative self-esteem.
He shows
symptoms of not believing that he could be the cause of his own life,
he feels that what happens to him is the effect of others and of the
circumstances, more than his own perception and decision.
He acts
with the illusion of superiority which limits his efficiency to carry
out any action as he considers it under his level.
He has
a very limited knowledge of himself, realising who he really is would
make him clash with his own negative and insufficient self-esteem
and his mechanism protects him from frustrations, disenchantment and
disillusions.
He acts
having copied other people’s roles or imaginary roles, without
looking at himself and his own capacities.
He is prone
to criticise himself and receive criticism from others. This attitude
gives him an excuse for the lack of satisfaction in his life and in
his relationships.
