How
a child with a low sense of belonging behaves
He isolates
himself from others. He doesn’t take the initiative as he fears
rejection.
He finds
it difficult to start and maintain friendships. He doesn’t have
many friends; he avoids feeling rejected or uncomfortable.
He tends
to relate to objects or animals instead of people.
He is arrogant
and sarcastic. He doesn’t collaborate and he tries to attract
other people’s attention. He acts in an extreme way as he doesn’t
want to face rejection.
To attract
attention he often boasts about things that are not true or things
that have been over-valued, the “child inside him” remembers
that having done this in the past he gained his parents attention.
He tries
to influence others or control them.
He prefers
competition to co-operation or collaboration.
He has
a tendency to criticize instead of appreciating himself and others.
A child
with sense of belonging
He shares
the concept of collaboration and friendship. He is capable of starting
interpersonal contact with the people that he wants to relate to.
He shows
sensitivity and understanding to others.
He shows
skills to cooperate and share.
He feels
comfortable in a group.
He is
accepted by others and he wants to be part of a group.
He shows
a positive and open social attitude.
He feels
valued by others.
He accepts
people as they are, without trying to control them, although he is
open to give support and feedback for all those that ask.
Possible
measures to help children feel like they belong
1. Tell
the child that everyone has to try and be accepted by others.
2. Convince
them that they have everything they need, that they have nothing to
fear. This usually reduces the fear they have to relate to others.
3. Motivate
the child to share his ideas and points of view within a group.
4. Create
contexts so that he learns how to be a leader, this distracts fear,
anxiety and the feeling of embarrassment, blame and lack of personal
value.
5. Look
for opportunities in which the child can help others in a natural
way.
6. Create
an atmosphere based on accepting. Anxiety reinforces fear and therefore
increases, at the same time, the fear of being rejected by others.
7. Motivating
the children so that they share details of their personal life, if
they want. Let them speak about their personal objects that are important
to them and why. Let them talk about their colleagues that have similar
interests to theirs. Play group games, enjoy yourselves together without
any competition.
