SOCIALLY
SKILLED BEHAVIOUR
•
Expresses feelings, attitudes, desires, opinions,
rights, pleasure.....: we can express a whole range of things at one
determined time. Generally people have difficulties with some aspects
more than others. When we try and improve our level of social competence,
it is convenient to dedicate time to self-evaluating, to know what things
are more difficult to communicate; to express our feelings, make our
rights be worth something.....
•
Makes a situation more comfortable: you can not
separate communication from the context where it has come from. It is
not the same talking with friends as talking in a work meeting, for
example. Each situation requires a different intonation, vocabulary,
and different expression, although the objective is the same. Efficient
communication takes place when we act ourselves.
•
Respects others: social competence should
come from the fact that everyone has the same common rights; therefore
in a situation when we are communicating we need to accept the fact
that others also think, feel, demand, desire.
•
Generally resolves problems immediately: we don't
always achieve what we want, despite having clearly expressed our desires
and not having hurt or annoyed anyone in the process. One thing is being
socially skilled and another is controling other people's relationships.
This is not a motive to abandon our aims to improve our way of communicating,
as we will see later on. In the long run, our network of social support
will be of better quality.
•
Minimizes the probability of future problems: when we are capable
of communicating in a reiterated way and at the same time looking after
our relationships, it is likely that in the future we have less conflictive
situations with others. If people that we relate with perceive that
we are clear, honest and respectful, it is probably that in the future
they will behave the same way with us, or at least not in a hostile
way.
